Thursday, November 19, 2009

Karo Parisyan Won't Fight On Saturday, Has Been Kicked Out Of The UFC

Karo Parisyan's (18-5) steep descent into an epic fail-spiral continued today when he called off his much-anticipated bout with Dustin Hazelett (12-4) at tomorrow's UFC 106.

Of course, Karo frequently makes choices so horrible that you'd swear he takes life-coaching from Lindsay Lohan, but you're still probably wondering what's gone wrong now. Well, it's a bit unclear at this time, but my guess is it has something to do with Parisyan having developed a case of what my attorney, Dr. Gonzo, refers to as "the fear."

Karo babbled some nonsense to MMAWeekly about not being able to fight because he has an outstanding fine of $32,000 with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC). That might have been believable if the chairman of said commission, Keith Kizer, hadn't recently given this interview in which he details the great lengths to which the NSAC has recently gone in order to help Karo fight:

It was Dana White who first broke this news via his twitter account. Here are the highlights:

"Karo Parisyan has fucked over the UFC, the fans and his opponent again!!! He will not be fighting saturday or ever again in the UFC!!

Pulled out of the fight the day before weigh ins again with a laundry list of excuses!!! Let the press ask karo why! Let him explain.

Dustin will be paid his full purse to show and win. Its not his fault."

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